There seems to be something in all of us (whether there by genetics or by training) that causes us to seek out the negative in EVERYTHING. Give us a situation and we will see what's wrong in it. Say something and we will hear the bad, or think that something negative was implied. And the interesting thing is that if something really good happens, we smile and enjoy it, but the nice feelings last a whole lot shorter than the negative feelings. If there is a birth in the family, we are happy - it might last moments. Leave the hospital, have someone give you the finger, and the baby will be forgotten and the feelings about the finger could linger all day.
All of the spiritual self-help gurus tell you that the focus on negative stuff is bad (duh!) and to actively move yourself to focusing on good stuff. Unfortunately for us, we don't seem to have those habits of noticing the good stuff. I, for one, have been working very hard, for decades, to look for the good stuff and skim over the bad. Some days it seems easy. Then all of a sudden, the smallest and inconsequential negativity stops me in my tracks! When that happens, it is almost comical. I can't get my sight, senses or feelings easily off the negativity. It's like watching a car accident - you know you shouldn't look; it's going to be gross, but you can't help yourself!
This happened to me yesterday. I was cruising along in Pleasantville, happy with all the positive scenery and BAM! Ran right smack into an unimportant crack from a person who apparently likes to spoil things for others. Immediately, I was transported from Pleasantville to a slum, with trash and derelicts and no hope of getting out. At least it felt that way for all of 30 seconds before I said I've got to find Pleasantville again. Unfortunately for us, we can instantly transport to a slum, but have to walk back to Pleasantville. Oh well, walking won't hurt me. In fact, because I have to walk means that I have been motivated to stay away from people with slum transportation qualities. It has started me looking for Mr. Good News. You know, the guy who always sees the positive and tries to help everyone around them see it as well!
Imagine what it would be like to be surrounded by an army of Mr. Good News. Any time you stumbled, they would catch you, smile and help you keep in step to the upbeat music. Ah that would be nice. As I start this imaginary view, the little negative voice says "Why is Mr. Good News Mr.?" Ackkk!!!! OK. Mr. or Ms. Good News! The point is GO LOOK FOR POSITIVE PEOPLE. The goal is to be one of those positive people.
I hope that people around me can honestly say that I have been getting better at this. I tell myself that I am. In fact, if you don't think I am, I don't want to hear it. You must be one of those negative transporters. I am finding the good stuff, and I will be a Ms. Good News. Yes, I will. The sun is shining. I have a gorgeous family, a great home, and a future. I think I am back from my visit to the slum, back to Pleasantville.
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2 comments:
Hey you, the one in Pleasantville. I think it's great that you can walk back. Soon you will be able to transport yourself instantly, just like you do when you go to the negative world. It's practice, practice, practice. I need to learn from you!
Well said! We all should spend more time in Pleasantville and stop perpetuating the negative spiral we so easily fall into. Jon spoke well... practice, practice, practice. Why do we fail to journey to this place of goodness? Perhaps we have never seen what blessings we truly have sittting right in front of us, or could it be that we are afraid to leave our (comfort zone) of negativity? Look deep within your being and find that road to Pleasantville, for there are many. Continue to walk your path. I hope to see you there sometime. -Al
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