Not the Neti!!

All right, so I have this cold thing going. Lots of coughing and sinus congestion. So Anya tells me to get a neti pot and I ignore her. Then my friend Gary tells me to get a neti pot and I want to ignore him too, but I am not shaking the congestion. Then Anya and I go shopping and she brings up the neti pot again.

For those of you who don't know what it is, it is a teapot that you stick up one nostril to pour saline water into your sinuses to drain out of the unplugged nostril. Sound disgusting?? You have no idea! So I go to CVS and buy one, being a desperate sort, and Anya says I better use it every two hours as sick as I am.

I read the instructions three times, mostly hesitating to start the process. I mix solution in the pot with lukewarm water, as instructed. I stick it in my right nostril, position my head exactly like the picture and start pouring. I felt the sensation of the sinus filling, I was breathing through my mouth, and nothing came out. Then it seemed like my sinus couldn't take anymore water and it started to run down the back of my throat. Obviously I was plugged up enough that it wouldn't go through! So now I have this neti pot stuck in my nose, sinus full of water, nothing coming back out except that which was filiing the mouth that I was trying to breathe from! At which point, all was forceably ejected from both nostrils and my mouth with probably the most powerful snort of my life!

I blew my nose a few times, water everywhere, coughed once or twice, and before I could think of every reason to throw the thing in the trash, stuck it in the left and tried again. Looking in the mirror with this thing lodged, I saw a small but steady stream of water finally coming out as the picture showed! It is somewhat unnerving to feel, but I did it! Through the night, I kept doing it as I got congested. I would say that half the time, both sides flowed, and the other half the time I had enough blockage that I needed to half drown and blow it out to get any water through.

Anya says that Johnny giggles when he does it. Obviously he feels things very differently from me! I wish it made me feel like giggling, rather than a faint feeling of near drowning! I'll keep trying it throughout the day, but so far I have not noticed any difference. I hope it works because I would hate to think that all of this was for some hidden camera show, or worse, for nothing!