Busy . . . or not

Today I have a lot of things that I should get done or that I want to get done. It is interesting that most of the time we will do the things that want before the things that we should. Today will be an interesting exercise in that.

So what do I need to do? I need to meet a neighbor for whom I will be pet sitting over the holidays, write up the HOA meeting minutes for distribution, take Benny for a walk (he hasn't had one in a few days), shop for the final Christmas presents and clean the house.

What do I want to do? I want to take David some of the Christmas goodies I baked, work on my jigsaw puzzle and sit in the garden to rest up for the week to come.

At this very moment I am still in my PJs, having my morning coffee and wondering how the day will go. I was contemplating why I am so busy sometimes and doing nothing others. I am either on or off. There is no in between. When I am on, I feel more powerful, capable and confident. I feel like I can handle most anything. Of course, the opposite is probably true. If I am super busy, it is because I didn't handle anything and I am out of control with tasks. On the flip side, when I am off, I feel low energy and listless, like I am not part of the world and of little value. Yet the reality is that is probably the time when I am truly devoted to myself, to recharging my batteries and resting my body, mind and spirit.

Perception is a crazy thing! Sometimes when I am doing good things for myself, I perception is telling me something else. Because I know that I am not unique and that others have similar perception issues, it is no wonder that we are all messed up as a species! Chasing that thought, how can creating a to do list turn into a philosophical discussion? To be busy . . . or not, that is the question.